I handle my American Express like a ninja his shuriken!
Pose me no questions, I’ll prop up no lies in return
and I’ll go further and sell you Truth by the pound,
hire spotters to spot you the liars,
(and there will be plenty)
personally garrote the swindlers with my power tie –
you can buy my time for $0,00/hour
with special offers if you now buy ∞ hours or more!
I’ll sell water to fish if you insist,
make the wind blow the other way.

And when I’m whisked elsewhere,
I’ll make you cardboard cutouts of men in black
who got your back
and will make up for the things I lack:
we are a team, them and I.

There’s salesmen out there
scaring us half to death
with promises of dying tomorrow
so that we’d live “in the now” and accomplish today.
I just called in sick, fuck your heaven:
selling stuff’s a form of motivational speaking
and fear WILL motivate, won’t it now?

Ten thousand selfies later, we’re all the same.
I dressed up like I messed up
for the party, a walking apology hitting pay-dirt
since dirt does pay.

We’re all for sale – but if it matters at all,
my special discount only applies to you –
and if the world needs to belong to someone,
it might as well be mine.

Bangs on your forehead, bang against mine,
your hipster specs to make everyday an irony.
All I think of is undressing you
without taking your boots off in the process

Your blush is healthy and out of a spray can and yes we can
and I wanna gimme gimme your insecurities and vulnerabilities
and your bad days and throwaways, and your weakness and strength
and your sickness and health and the cards you’ve been dealt
and your blush is healthy and comes out of a strawberry margharita,
so vaya con Dios, señorita – even though you don’t even habla español.
I need Better Lines to love with.

I dress to kill dreamers: to show’em who and what they missed;
to in most profound and nether Chamber sow the seed
of wistful thought and doubt of What Could Have Been –
indeed to live well for it is the Greatest Revenge.

Hey grrrrl, good news and bad ones, too!
Bad’uns 1st: you ain’t no grand solution to my troubles,
which brings us to the good part:
I ain’t looking to solve or be solved in return.